What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What! how could you do that?

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True - how I loved my mum!

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

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What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Do you know what she said mum?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

How do I run away? I'm 15 and live in Oklahoma.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Did you ever accidentally have sex with your brother/sister in India?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.